A: Would you ever consider having C. over to your house?
B: Hmmm….
B: probably
B: he’s an oddball
B: but seems harmless
A: He’s a convicted sex offender and suspected terrorist.
B: Oh
B: I was not aware of that
A: Actually, no.
B: Oh, that’s too bad.

A: Can I be a Christian thinker after I get rid of moralization (as I’m trying to do)?
B: depends on how well you fake the latter
A: Nice.
B: I’m a pretty horrible person. If I wasn’t bound for hell, I’m sure I will be after this class
A: C. just made such a terrible move in chess that I’m worried it’s the most brilliant move ever.

A: So it turns out that the small Belgian town my wife’s from — pop. 24,000 — has become something of a hub for Ismalic terrorists
B:Awesome.
A: they recently arrested several people in connection to the Madrid training bombing
B: I hope we don’t invade Belgium now.

B: There’s this quote going around attributed to Bush, and often cited when people talk about the rise of Christian fascism in this country — which I even used in my SBL — that appears to have been invented
B: I cannot find any evidence it was ever utted
B: uttered
A: A more important truth is at stake here.
A: Don’t be a slave to mere empirical fact.

A: I’m just afraid of becoming a social recluse.
B: what are you going ot do when / if C. & his wife leave? Can you afford a place on your own?
A: I feel like once I turn that corner, I’ll find there’s no one there when I’m really ready for some fellowship.
A: I can afford a studio apartment.
B: then the recluse living can really start in full
B: a studio apt. filled w/ books & a piano
B it’s the beginning of a documentary tale
B: with all these interviews of peopel talking about the last time they spoke to you …. man, that’d be awesome
B: academia needs more Thomas Pynchons
A: I’d probably end up becoming a serial killer.

A: I dated a girl for over three years… in high school. The old “itch” is much more intense during that period.
B: I’ve decided that a fairly steady high school relationship is probably the way to go — since I’m not sure most high schoolers know how to fully enjoy a promiscuous sexual life.
B: guys get roped in by high school dramatics … things get confused … etc.
A: Yeah.
B: better just to have a few pregnancy scares
B: w/ one person
A: That was where I went wrong.
A: Didn’t go “all the way.”
A: I still believed in Jesus.
B: Oh, I didn’t either.
B: Don’t get me wrong.
B: I dry humped w/ the best of them
A: I once pulled off the “dry 69.” Pretty absurd, looking back.
B: Wow. That’s gotta be memorable

A: How was the date?
B: It went pretty well.
B: Turns out this woman is a lot more negative than I first realized.
A: That’s a good sign
B: We’ll probably go out again.
A: This is the black girl?
B: No, Jewish.
A: Oh.

A: Why do I sometimes think that Burger King is a good idea?
B: Burger King is never a good idea
A: Well, it has now become a part of me.
A: That’s right: they were filming one of their commercials, and the King raped me.

A: I need to find a birthday gift for C
B: I’m sure she’d love it if you wrote up an analysis of this mutual fund.
A: that is the gift that keeps on giving, definitel
A: y
B: She actually put me on exactly the kind of thing that I’m good at — a lot of information with only very small differences.
B: Even at that shitty temp job where I worked with D, they soon figured out that I was the only one who could handle a specific task, because it was like that.
B: A little piece of me died when I realized that I found it satisfying to do that well.
A: Yeah. I know what you mean about the depressing joy that comes from enjoying the shittiest of tasks.
A: That was me at my last temp job, going through the accounting info
B: It’s like the Onion article — “Area man ashamed at own joy after receiving a new mop.”

A: I think it would be brilliant if someone repackaged Minima Moralia as a daily devotional — specifically assign dates to it, etc.
B: Or, at teh very least, one of those calendars
B: w/ an aphorism each day
A: A daily pull-off calendar. It’d have to be really small print.
B: Yeah
B: Maybe just the highlights
A: I think we just found our way to riches.
B: Or!! Or, we could create one of those dolls, in the mould of those ironic action figures (of Poe, Freud, Shakespeare, etc.), and add a function that when you pull their string, you get a random aphorism … in GERMAN!
B: That’d be a frightening gift
B: but every graduate student would own one
A: With the Hegel doll, you’d have to have one where he just yells “Aufhebung” at the top of his lungs.
B: while quaking and giggling like Elmo