So I guess I’ve been unduly influenced. April 18, 2008

A: So I was telling a gay friend about the “condoms in the nightstand” story.
B: wait, which story is this? i forget.
B: oh, the girl who thought you were tacky or whatever, right?
A: Creepy, she said.
A: It was creepy that I kept condoms in my nightstand.
B: right.
A: So we agreed that she would’ve maybe [...]

That’s a roommate April 1, 2008

A: I just had to use paper towels to wipe my ass… .man, that shit hurts
B: What the fuck man.
B: I mean are you living a life of fucking squalor?
B: You’re goddamn 30 years old, you should not be wiping your ass with paper towels.
B: I take this as a very bad omen for your [...]